“THE TOP TEN MOST WANTED PIGS TO BLAME FOR THIS NASTY SWINE VIRUS”

(Week 14#)

Written and Illustrated by Lena Hopkins-Jackson

Now, I knoooow I’m not Mo’Nique…BUT I originally wasn’t going to touch this one this, all inside jokes aside! It seemed that cracking jokes about something as serious as a possible pandemic was about as funny as Mother’s Day in Senator’s John Edward’s house…Suddenly, PORK was America’s Most UN-wanted white meat!

I imagined all of my Muslims friends looking smugly as if to say ‘We told y’all so” ….or Burger King’s new slogan ” Have it your way,…I bet the Whopper looks REALLLLL good right about now,don’t it!”…and then my old partner John emailed me a suggestion, and as usual we were on the same page….Well, I don’t know if by next week, we’ll ALL be rockin’ that Micheal Jackson post surgery look BUT I figure it never hurts to laugh so until then… “Heeere’s Your Week-end Top Ten”

Enjoy and God Bless!

10. Pumba from “The Lion King”…….Yeah, being associated with Disney will make ANYONE’S image squeaky clean but I never bought his act! His PR people have gone out of their way to cover up that nasty bit o’ business that tied HIM to Mufasa’s murder and I‘m not even going to go there about his living arrangement with long time ’special’ friend Timon….Mhhhh-hmmmmm.

 9. “The Three Little Pigs”….. One of my favorite stories growing up as a child but that’s been many years ago, and those pigs are STILL there together…..and clearly up to something! NOBODY but special agent terrorists and ‘Losers’ live with their siblings for THAT long…… not to mention in a musty little,cramped,brick house with a dead wolf stuck in the chimney? C’mon now,…somethin’s up!

 8. “Wilbur” from “Charlotte’s Web”….. Awww, and we all thought Charlotte the spider and her magical web weaving skills saved Wilbur from a Thanksgiving platter, Nah, turns out they just didn’t like his smell…he reeked of fear and that just doesn’t mix well with cranberries, collards and yams.

 7.” Porky The Pig”…… Ah-buh-dee-buh-dee-buh-dee-buh-deeee, Th-th-th-thass right f-f-folks..Porky! Eh, I was ALWAYS suspicious of that fake stuttering Porky would resort to just to get the attention off of the vastly more talented Bugs and even crazy-@ss Daffy. Always complaining, always scared, flubbing his lines and blaming it on his ’so-called’ speech impediment…. classic passive aggressive personality… the signs are there people if you just read them!

 6.” Petunia” Porky’s girlfriend…….Every secret government agent HAS to have a sexy sidekick, his own personal ‘Gal Friday’ running thangs behind the scenes, don’t let the pigtails fool ya’………….Ya’ can’t trust a PIG butt and a smile! That pig is poison! Puh-puh-puh-puh-poison!

 5. “Piglet” From “Winnie The Poo”……I’m tellin’ you now….something just ain’t right about Piglet! Look at ‘em: His ears are waaay too floppy, he wears that striped, pink body suit EVERY frikkin’ day, and he’s NEVER with other piglets he ONLY hangs out with donkeys,tigers and bears and a human, mind you..…but never his own kind! Yep, somethin’ ain’t right….

 4. “The Bay of Pigs”…… Yeah, it’s that deep. No tellin’ what this virus mutated from…and how long! Besides y’all know the US government will do anything to get rid of Fidel Castro!

 3. “Hamm” from “Toy Story”…….He was the master mind behind the whole “Let’s-dump-Woody-for-Buzz Lightyear” coup a few years back when the first movie came out…..Hmmmm, need I say more?

 2. “Babe” from the movie “Babe”……. I never actually saw the movie because the commercial trailers alone annoyed me BUT I figured Babe needed an eye on him too. Ya’ can never be too safe….besides all that singing and dancing with barnyard animals off to slaughter ain’t natural!

 ..and THE “PUBLIC ENEMY NUMBER ONE” PIG TO BLAME FOR THIS NASTY SWINE VIRUS is…….
(drum role pleaze….) ….MISS PIGGY!!!
…Loud, vain, outspoken and clearly struggling with some serious anger management issues, I could easily see Miss Piggy creating nasty lies and spreading chaos around!……Oh, and speaking of “spreading it around”:…Rumor has it she wasn’t all that faithful to Kermit as she claimed to be! I heard she’s been with Fozzy Bear, ALL the “Pigs in Space”,whatever the hell Gonzo is … AND even the grumpy,old Muppet men in the balcony! (Ewww!)

 Yeah, I think we can nail down who we have to blame for this mess!

The P.I.G Mob

 Illustrated by Lena Hopkins-Jackson

“Cartoons & Caricatures”
By Lena “The Art Diva”
@ http://lenatheartdiva.com OR…http://missurbancarriebradshaw.blogspot.com/
*** All text and artwork represented here are the exclusive property of  Lena Hopkins-Jackson***

QUESTION: Do you think this virus was ACTUALLY created OR is that just another internet conspiracy theory floating around?…..Do Tell!